You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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