addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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