ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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