Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
