I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
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The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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