No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
