I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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