oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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