I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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