We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
50% drunk capacity currently
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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