Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
