she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
whose ass print is on the piano?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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