We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
