In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
