dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
