my soul wont recognize me after tonight
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
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If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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