My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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