PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
