Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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