Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
