I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
