Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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