Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
