The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
