I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is Oprah even human
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
