i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
