Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
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I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
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We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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