Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
