did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
