there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
