well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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