So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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