from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize