i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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