the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
my poor anus
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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