This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
