I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
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