this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
