I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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