Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The power of my boobs compel you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
