Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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