You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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