He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think people are normalizing furries
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
