can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
