Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
