New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
