I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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