pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
