You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
