when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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