I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
