Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
